Brett's Book List

"I promise to make you proud while I'm in prison."

Those were some of the final words I said to my incredible daughter Cambria the night before I surrendered to federal prison.

I can still feel the weight of that promise.

As a Dad, there is something incredibly painful about looking into the eyes of your daughter and knowing that YOUR decisions are about to physically separate you from her.

I didn't know exactly what awaited me behind razor-sharp barbed wire. I didn't know what my cement cell would look like, who I would live beside, what my job would be, how lonely the nights would feel, or how I would emotionally navigate missing Noél, Cambria, Willow, Lula, and Zion every single day.

There were a million things about federal prison I couldn't control.

BUT...

There was one thing I absolutely could.

I could control the kind of man I CHOSE to become while I was here.

So I looked at my beautiful daughter and made her a promise:

"I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU PROUD WHILE I'M IN PRISON."

No matter what I was about to face behind barbed wire, I was 100% committed to following through on that promise to my princess.

And the first step toward making Cambria PROUD of her DADDY was—and still is—taking FULL RESPONSIBILITY for the poor choices I made as a trusted business leader.

In my twenties, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime and absolutely obliterated the trust honest and hardworking people bestowed upon me. Instead of stewarding the hard-earned money entrusted to me with patience, wisdom, discernment, and integrity, I CHOSE to repeatedly make high-risk, reckless, and irresponsible business decisions.

I could have done better.

I should have done better.

And I WILL do better in the future.

The consequences caused by the cowardly choices I made in my past life are real and raw. There are real people attached to those consequences, and I understand that saying "I'm sorry" doesn't magically repair the damage my choices created.

That's why, inside a federal courtroom, I promised the judge that I would spend the rest of my life attempting to atone for my poor choices and hopefully bring healing to the people I hurt.

I can't rewrite my past.

I can't erase the consequences.

And I certainly can't give my family back the time my decisions have stolen from them.

HOWEVER...

I can decide what I do with TODAY.

By CHOOSING to use my years in prison productively, I'm hopeful that whenever the day finally comes for me to walk back into society, I will return as a better husband, father, friend, neighbor, and human being than the man who walked through these prison doors.

That doesn't happen accidentally.

It requires intentionality.

It requires humility.

It requires being willing to admit that there are A LOT of things I don't know.

And strangely enough...

one of the greatest teachers I've discovered during my incarceration doesn't talk back.

BOOKS.

The Written Word Behind Barbed Wire

One of the greatest opportunities presented to me early in my prison journey was the productive activity of simply...

READING.

That probably doesn't sound monumental to someone sitting in "The Free World."

BUT...

inside prison, a physical book can become something entirely different.

When the cell door closes...

when the compound gets quiet...

when I'm thousands of miles away from my beautiful wife and cherished children...

when there is nowhere to go and nothing I can possibly do to change my physical circumstances...

I can open a book.

And suddenly my cement cell gets a little bigger.

Through the written word, I've been able to sit with pastors, theologians, dog trainers, psychologists, former prisoners, service-dog handlers, survivors, warriors, teachers, and some incredibly wise human beings I otherwise never would have had the opportunity to learn from.

Some books have strengthened my faith.

Some have challenged the way I think.

Some have forced me to confront uncomfortable truths about myself.

Some have taught me about accountability, forgiveness, courage, grace, leadership, fear, shame, adversity, and redemption.

And A LOT of them...

have taught me about DOGS. 😂

Every book I read in the silence of my cement cell leaves an imprint on me.

That's why I'm beyond grateful for every physical book that somehow finds its way through the prison mail system and eventually lands in my hands.

Because sometimes...

inside a place designed to restrict where your body can go...

a book allows your mind to travel anywhere.

Then Came The Dogs...

If you scroll through the list below, you're probably going to notice something rather quickly.

I have become OBSESSED WITH DOG TRAINING!!! 😂🐾

What started as an opportunity to volunteer with service dogs has slowly become something I never could have predicted when I surrendered to prison.

A PURPOSE.

When I realized I had been given an opportunity to help raise and train future superhero service dogs, I didn't simply want to participate.

I wanted to LEARN.

I wanted to understand why dogs behave the way they do.

I wanted to understand body language.

Reactivity.

Resource guarding.

Positive reinforcement.

Scent work.

Assistance-dog training.

Behavior modification.

The relationship between humans and dogs.

And most importantly, I wanted to become the kind of trainer these incredible dogs deserved.

So...

I READ.

And read.

And read some more.

The more I learned, the more fascinated I became.

Then I would take something I'd learned from a book and apply it during an actual training session.

Suddenly, words printed on a page inside my cement cell were helping me communicate with an incredible dog standing beside me on a federal prison compound.

HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!

Eventually, this strange little obsession became something much bigger.

I completed thousands of hours of hands-on apprenticeship training and became a CERTIFIED ANIMAL/DOG TRAINER.

A legitimate career path began emerging from one of the darkest chapters of my life.

I entered prison knowing that the career I once had was gone.

And somewhere behind barbed wire...

God started showing me another one.

LOOK...

I would NEVER attempt to call prison a gift.

The choices that brought me here created far too much pain for that.

But I absolutely believe God can create purpose inside places we never wanted to be.

And for me, books have been a HUGE part of that process.

Why I'm Sharing This List

I wanted to publicly memorialize the books I've consumed throughout my incarceration for a few reasons.

First, I want to remember them.

Years from now, when I'm hopefully sitting at home beside Noél with our kids running in and out of the room, I want to be able to look back at this list and remember what I was feeding my mind during this chapter of our family's story.

Second, I hope another one of my barbwire brothers might stumble across a title that speaks to him and begin creating his own version of a productive prison journey.

You don't have to become a dog trainer.

You don't have to read the same books I read.

You don't have to walk my path.

BUT...

you absolutely CAN decide that your incarceration will not be wasted.

And finally...

I'm publishing this list because accountability matters to me.

I made a promise to my daughter.

And I want there to be a record showing that her Daddy is doing everything within his control to follow through on it.

Cambria, my love...

This list is for YOU.

Every dog-eared page.

Every highlighted paragraph.

Every lesson scribbled down.

Every night I've chosen to read instead of allowing shame to consume me.

Every new skill I've learned.

Every book I've finished.

Every tiny step forward...

is DADDY attempting to follow through on the promise I made to you before I left home.

I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU PROUD WHILE I'M IN PRISON.

I know reading 48 books can't undo the choices I made.

I know becoming a certified dog trainer doesn't erase our family's pain.

And I know there is no accomplishment I can achieve behind this fence that will magically restore the time we've lost.

That's not what this is about.

This is about your Daddy refusing to waste the time he has been given.

It's about becoming teachable.

It's about choosing growth over bitterness.

It's about taking responsibility for yesterday while intentionally preparing for tomorrow.

And ultimately...

it's another small part of Daddy trying to...

EARN...HIS...WAY...BACK...HOME.

Cambria, I love you with all my heart, my incredible daughter.

Thank you for believing in me when believing in myself wasn't always easy.

Thank you for cheering me forward.

Thank you for giving your Daddy something worth fighting for.

And thank you for reminding me that even behind razor-sharp barbed wire...

my story isn't finished yet.

Sincerely,

Brett

(A broken man, bookworm, and completely OBSESSED dog trainer who is trying every single day to EARN his way back home.)

P.S. This is an ever-evolving list. As long as books keep finding their way into my cement cell, I plan to keep reading, learning, growing, and adding them below. Thank you for allowing me to publicly memorialize this productive prison journey. I'm truly grateful.

-The Books Brett Has Read So Far-

1. Tattoos on the Heart
The Power of Boundless Compassion
By Gregory Boyle

2. Barking to the Choir
The Power of Radical Kinship
By Gregory Boyle

3. Fearless
Imagine Your Life Without Fear
By Max Lucado

4. Facing Your Giants
God Still Does the Impossible
By Max Lucado

5. Jesus
The God Who Knows Your Name
By Max Lucado

6. You'll Get Through This
Hope in the Midst of Your Hard Times and a God Who Uses the Mess of Life for Good
By Max Lucado

7. Living Fearless
Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God
By Jamie Winship

8. Joshua
By Joseph F. Girzone

9. Joshua and the Children
By Joseph F. Girzone

10. The Hiding Place
By Corrie ten Boom

11. 18 Days in Heaven
By Gabe Poirot

12. Grace (Eventually)
Thoughts on Faith
By Anne Lamott

13. The Daily Stoic
366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
By Ryan Holiday

14. Courage Is Calling
Fortune Favors the Brave
By Ryan Holiday

15. The Obstacle Is the Way
The Ancient Art of Turning Adversity to Advantage
By Ryan Holiday

16. Stillness Is the Key
By Ryan Holiday

17. Destined for the Throne
How Spiritual Warfare Prepares the Bride of Christ for Her Eternal Destiny
By Paul E. Billheimer

18. Wonder Dogs
By Maureen Maurer

19. Triggers and Reactions
A Guide to Fixing Dog Behavior Problems
By Jeff Millman

20. Saving Sadie
How a Dog That No One Wanted Inspired the World
By Joal Derse Dauer

21. Dog Training 101
The Academy for Dog Trainers
By Jean Donaldson

22. Through a Dog's Eyes
Understanding Our Dogs by Understanding How They See the World
By Jennifer Arnold

23. A Dog Called Hope
A Wounded Warrior and the Service Dog Who Saved Him
By Jason Morgan

24. Service Tails
More Stories of Man's Best Hero
By Ace Collins

25. Plenty in Life Is Free
Reflections on Dogs, Training and Finding Grace
By Kathy Sdao

26. Six Feet Kissing the Earth
Prison Dogs and a Path to Peace
By Israel Gross

27. Fight! 
A Practical Guide to the Treatment of Dog-Dog Aggression
By Jean Donaldson

28. Mine! 
A Practical Guide to Resource Guarding in Dogs
By Jean Donaldson

29. Understanding Assistance Dogs
Is an Assistance Dog the Right Tool for You?
By Jennifer Gravrok

30. Oh Behave! 
Dogs from Pavlov to Premack to Pinker
By Jean Donaldson

31. Canine Body Language
A Photographic Guide to Interpreting the Native Language of the Domestic Dog
By Brenda Aloff

32. Pawverbs
100 Inspirations to Delight an Animal Lover's Heart
By Jennifer Marshall Bleakley

33. The Dog's Mind
Understanding Your Dog's Behavior
By Bruce Fogle

34. Don't Shoot the Dog! 
The New Art of Teaching and Training
By Karen Pryor

35. The Culture Clash
A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding the Relationship Between Humans and Domestic Dogs
By Jean Donaldson

36. The Other End of the Leash
Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs
By Patricia B. McConnell

37. Meet Your Dog
The Game-Changing Guide to Understanding Your Dog's Behavior
By Kim Brophey

38. Earning Freedom
Conquering a 45-Year Prison Term
By Michael G. Santos

39. Scentwork for Your Dog
Step by Step
By Sara Seymour

40. The Ultimate Service Dog Training Manual
By Keagen J. Grace

41. In a Dog's Heart
By Jennifer Arnold

42. Human-Canine Behavior Connection
By Marissa Martino

43. He Chose the Nails
By Max Lucado

44. The Practical Positive Dog Training Bible
By Lincoln Fleming

45. Feisty Fido
Help for the Leash-Reactive Dog
By Patricia B. McConnell, Ph.D. and Karen B. London, Ph.D.

46. Chill Out Fido! 
How to Calm Your Dog
By Nan Kene Arthur

47. The Heavenly Man
By Brother Yun with Paul Hattaway

48. The Way of a Pilgrim 
By: Nina A. Toumanova

To be continued... 📚

FORTY-EIGHT BOOKS.

As I sit here writing this from my cement cell, that's where the list currently stands.

Forty-eight different opportunities to learn something I didn't know before.

Forty-eight reminders that although prison can restrict where my BODY goes, it does not get to decide where my MIND goes.

And I'm nowhere near finished.

Book #49 will eventually find its way into this cell...then #50

Because as long as I'm living behind this razor-sharp fence, I'm going to keep learning.

Keep growing.

Keep preparing.

And keep doing everything within my control to make good on the promise I made to my daughter:

"CAMBRIA...I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU PROUD WHILE I'M IN PRISON."