Shatter Your Shame, Chapter 3- Sneak Peek
Shatter Your Shame, Chapter 3- Sneak Peek
Note From Noél
“Brett, if you weren’t here, I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done. I’m so thankful I was sent to the same prison as you. I finally feel like I have a future.”
A few nights ago, Brett’s newest barbed-wire brother spoke these words through tears to my always-hopeful husband — a broken father clinging to the first spark of hope he has felt in a very long time.
This father-turned-felon — the newest addition to Brett’s eclectic crew of barbed-wire brothers — recently self-surrendered to federal prison for a white-collar crime. Before meeting Brett, this financially devastated man believed the shame of his past decisions had permanently disqualified him from ever living a meaningful, purpose-filled life again. He thought prison was the end of his story… not the beginning of redemption.
Instead of letting this divorced dad disappear into the darkness of his own shame, my convicted-criminal husband did what he always does — he reached into the pit and started pulling another man toward the light. Brett began sharing the shame-shattering stories he has witnessed inside those razor-wire fences, reminding him that God is not finished… not even close.
I have no doubt Brett will be relentless in showing this deflated father of two beautiful daughters that his past is not a life sentence of worthlessness — it is the fire that is refining him into the man he was always created to be.
Our grace-filled God specializes in turning self-inflicted wreckage into redemption stories. Healing is happening in the pit of prison. Men who walked in crushed by guilt are slowly learning how to stand again. Jesus is speaking truth into hearts that once believed they were too far gone to be saved.
One of the EXTREMELY entertaining stories Brett shared with his new white-collar brother comes from Day 3 of Shatter Your Shame. It tells the story of how Brett met “The Big Bearded Man” — a larger-than-life character who had buried his dreams under layers of pain — and how he was challenged to DREAM BIG DREAMS AGAIN.
This was truly such an incredible story to edit and publish in the book.
Enjoy… and please let me know your honest thoughts about Shatter Your Shame so far. I don’t just want this book to be good — I want it to reach the people who feel too broken, too ashamed, or too far gone to believe their life could still matter.
With so much love,
Noél (The Wife of The Kindest Convicted Criminal Ever!!!)
P.S. If you haven’t had a chance to read Day 1 and Day 2 of Shatter Your Shame, the links are below.
SHATTER YOUR SHAME
CHAPTER 3 SNEAK PEEK...
Day 3: Dream Big Dreams Again
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” — Carl Bard
Alright, my incredible friend, today is Day 3 of our epic Shame-Shattering journey together, and I’m beyond blessed to be your self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa.
It wasn’t long ago that I was trapped in my own shame cycle, and my life felt absolutely unbearable. If you’re in that place right now, I hope it brings you some comfort to know that your so-called “shame slaying” sherpa has been beaten up pretty badly by his past, too.
One of the worst parts about being chained to your past is this:
It steals your ability to DREAM BIG DREAMS AGAIN.
I love dreaming big… and I’m guessing you once did too.
But when my life was suffocated by the all-consuming Shadow of Shame, I felt completely UNWORTHY of dreaming — for myself, for my family, for any kind of future.
That shadow whispered to me constantly:
“Brett, because of your past, you will be chained to your present pain forever.
You are UNWORTHY of dreaming because of the decisions YOU made.”
And the worst part?
I believed it.
I fully agreed with that sinister voice and convinced myself I didn’t deserve to dream big ever again.
Now, here is a reality check for anyone drowning in a shame cycle soaked in self-loathing:
God sent His one and only Son to die a brutal, tortured death for broken people like you and me.
The Shadow of Shame wants to steal your hope for a God-given purpose…
BUT —
As Jesus took His final breath on the cross, He declared:
“IT IS FINISHED.”
In that moment, everything changed.
Your debt is paid.
Your shame is carried.
Your past no longer has the final word.
Sin lost its grip.
Guilt lost its authority.
Shame lost its power to define who you are.
Because of the blood of Jesus Christ, that shadow never stood a chance.
It may still whisper.
It may still try to haunt you.
But it no longer has the right to rule your life.
Jesus didn’t come for perfect people.
He came for broken, messy, regret-filled people like you and me…
So we could heal.
So we could rise.
So we could DREAM BIG DREAMS again.
And whenever the pain of my past tries to creep back into my present…
whenever shame starts whispering that my story is over…
I don’t run from the worst day of my life.
I go straight to it.
I replay one moment most people would spend a lifetime trying to forget:
The day I was sentenced to more than 15 years in federal prison.
Strange coping strategy?
Maybe.
Life-changing perspective?
Absolutely.
I can still see it like it’s happening right now.
The giant judge dressed in black, towering above me from his elevated bench — so high it felt like he was looking down from another world.
Cold.
Expressionless.
Unmoved by the wreckage unfolding beneath him.
From that position of absolute authority, he looked straight at me…
and spoke words that still echo in my head to this day:
“Mr. Bartlett, because of your past decisions, I sentence you to 188 months in federal prison.”
Well, some quick math will tell you that that single sentence from the giant federal judge dressed in all black would cost me 15 and a half years away from my beautiful wife and kids.
As the final verdict from that powerfully positioned judge registered in my Brett brain, I looked over at my wonderful warrior wife, Noél, sitting in that cold pew… and saw her trying with everything she had to hold herself together.
Tears streamed down her beautiful face in that silent, stunned courtroom.
Her body was shaking.
Her hands gripped the bench in front of her like it was the only thing keeping her upright.
Her face carried a look of shock and heartbreak I’m not sure I will ever forget.
Inside, everything she knew and loved was collapsing. Her forever person, her husband, the father of her children, was about to be taken away.
I swear everything started to feel unreal in that moment. The air had grown so thick you could almost taste it as the United States Marshals began walking toward me to escort me out of that federal courtroom.
No sirens.
No dramatic scene.
Just quiet, professional finality.
And somehow… that made it worse.
In that moment, it felt like everything I had known was gone… and I had no idea what came next.
And then something unexpected happened.
Right there in that cold courtroom, I had what can only be described as a divine vision from God.
It didn’t feel like I passed out.
It didn’t feel like a dream.
It felt like I stepped out into another moment, while my body was still standing there in the present.
Suddenly, I wasn’t just remembering the sentencing…
I was inside it again.
Everything slowed.
Everything sharpened.
Every sound disappeared.
And in that super-silent courtroom, I saw a random, soft-spoken man quietly stand up from the back and address the giant, powerful judge.
Not loud.
Not dramatic.
Just calm… certain… unafraid.
He said:
“Judge, I know Brett made some terrible business decisions in his past.
LIKE REALLY DUMB.
But I still believe in him, and I love him dearly.
He has a God-given purpose in life.
I WILL TAKE HIS PLACE.
I will serve his 15-year federal prison sentence for him.”
As this vivid vision filled my mind, something inside me broke open.
It wasn’t just a thought — it was a full-body realization.
From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, I could feel it — the weight, the truth, the overwhelming reality of what I was seeing.
I FINALLY understood what Jesus had done… for me.
For ALL of us.
Unfortunately for me, it took a federal courtroom and a 15-year prison sentence to finally “get it.”
The day Jesus CHOSE to go to the cross, He didn’t just carry wood on His back.
He carried ALL of our shame.
ALL of our guilt.
ALL of our pain.
ALL of our past.
HE served the sentence WE deserved. And, I don’t know about you, but I am forever grateful for this gracious gift.
Because of that sacrifice, we are not disqualified… we are redeemed.
Jesus looked at broken people like you and me and decided we were STILL worth saving.
STILL worth loving.
STILL worth giving a purpose to.
STILL worth a second… third… ninety-ninth chance at life.
Our Father in heaven wants us to DREAM BIG DREAMS AGAIN.
Shame has NO POWER over you anymore… because of the blood of Jesus Christ.
Even though I had just been sentenced to 5,655 days behind razor-sharp barbed wire, an unexpected feeling filled my heart:
Peace.
Not because prison would be easy, or because I deserved mercy, but because I suddenly had BIG DREAMS for the journey ahead.
No matter what the judge said that day, I knew with absolute certainty that my past was paving a path toward purpose.
The day I left, I held my shell-shocked wife tight and told her with enthusiasm that I believed God was going to use this lengthy prison sentence to help other men shatter their shame.
Our GREAT and REDEEMING God was already turning the mess I had created into a miracle.
My painful past had purified me into the exact person needed for the mission ahead.
Little did I know that four months later, I would meet one of my favorite barbed-wire brothers:
“The Big Bearded Man.”
A massive, heavily tattooed, unbelievably talented human being who could probably pop my head like a balloon with very little effort if he wanted to.
Because of his past, he believed he was completely UNWORTHY of dreaming big dreams again.
But his story proves something powerful:
No matter what you’ve done… You still deserve to dream.
My friend, I hope you’re ready for one of the most unforgettable stories of this journey — how The Big Bearded Man shattered his shame forever.
I call it:
“Please Don’t Kill Me.”
Enjoy!
Please Don’t Kill Me
After about two months of surviving the wild and worrisome “60-Man Jungle,” I was given the VERY welcome opportunity to move into a cold, but oddly comfortable prison cell. And let me just tell you, privacy in federal prison feels like winning the lottery.
The ONLY reason I was allowed to relocate was because my dear friend with the big, bright white smile put in a good word for me. “The Networker” truly has a supernatural ability to connect with people on the compound, and this Fresh Fish is EXTREMELY thankful for his friendship.
Slowly but surely, with the help of my barbed wire brothers, I was finding my way through the insane maze of federal prison.
“The Wolf” quietly took it upon himself to protect me from the predators roaming these dull-colored hallways.
“The Networker” became my personal concierge, guiding me from place to place on this bizarre prison quest like a tour guide for the world’s worst vacation.
Looking back, it’s abundantly clear God had a plan when He sent me to this specific facility. He placed me exactly where I needed to be to develop relationships with some incredible men with prickly pasts.
I had found “my people.”
Convicted criminals who made sure the freshest fish ever to flop into federal prison could survive… and eventually thrive.
Broken men who understood broken men. I am beyond blessed to call them my brothers.
Little did I know, a new character was about to enter our band of shame-slaying misfits.
“The Big Bearded Man” stood about 6'5" and close to 300 pounds on a lean day. His grizzly-bear glare warned every inmate:
That they were not welcome in his cave… I mean cell.
As I carried my small pile of belongings into my new cell, his eyes locked onto mine, heavy, unblinking, predatory. And I did my absolute best not to poop my prison-issued pants instantly.
This extremely large human could have flattened me with one punch… and I had just moved into the cell directly across from him.
Awesome.
My next BIG adventure in federal prison was officially underway.
Now, in classic Fresh Fish fashion, I panicked.
Instead of doing something normal… like minding my own business… I waved.
Not a confident adult wave.
More like a nervous kindergartener waving at the ice-cream truck driver.
A shaky, uncertain little flap of the hand that screamed:
Please don’t hurt me.
The awkward arm wobble I performed in the middle of that prison hallway was NOT one of my finer moments.
He did not wave back.
He did not smile.
He did not blink.
Just… stared.
Cold.
Heavy.
And extremely unsettling.
After setting down a handful of belongings, I watched him disappear back into his dark cave across the hall like a bear retreating into the woods.
The next two weeks are a blur, but one thing stayed painfully consistent over those 14 days. Every morning when I left for work, “The Big Bearded Man” was there, waiting, delivering a grizzly glare that pierced straight through me and pinned me in place.
And every evening when I returned, that same unblinking grizzly stare was waiting again…as if he had never moved, never softened, never forgotten I existed.
No smile.
No hello.
No nod.
No words.
Just silent intimidation that made my legs wobble like a newborn deer.
He was NOT thrilled a Fresh Fish had moved into his neighborhood, and worse, right across from his deep, dark bear cave.
Then one afternoon, I had the day off and decided to do something that can only be described as a catastrophically bad decision. I decided to introduce myself to “The Big Bearded Man” across the hall.
Cautiously, I crept out of my cell and politely knocked on his massive, rusted metal door. Three seconds later, a large man with a big beard appeared. As he stepped forward, his body blocked the fluorescent light that once lit my face. His massive frame filled the doorway, turning him into a human eclipse.
No smirk.
No friendliness.
Just a look that clearly communicated:
Whoever dares disturb me has made a terrible mistake.
I IMMEDIATELY regretted my life choices… but somehow managed to mouth-vomit:
“Hi… my name is Brett. I’m your new neighbor. Nice to meet you.”
The grizzly bear of a man was completely unfazed by my goofy gesture and continued to silently stare into my shaking soul.
Fear surged through every part of my body. My brain was screaming for an escape plan.
And then, by the grace of God, I remembered something that could potentially show this huge, hardened man, “I come in peace.”
I sprinted back into my cell and dug frantically through my tilted locker, tossing items aside until I found the single most important piece of paper EVERY federal inmate needs to have available at all times:
My prison paperwork.
A few weeks earlier, “The Networker” had coached me:
“If you ever get into a tense situation… show your paperwork.”
This felt like that VERY tense situation.
After a few frantic seconds, which felt like hours, of searching for that single piece of paper, I rushed back and placed the document into his massive hands.
Trying to sound calm, while internally screaming, I said:
“I totally get that you don’t know me… and you probably have concerns about me moving across from you. Here is my prison paperwork so you can see WHY I’m here, and find out a little more about me.”
The 6’5 grizzly bear standing in front of me scanned EVERY. SINGE. WORD. on that document.
Line by line.
The hallway went silent except for the faint rustle of paper.
And with each sentence he read on that 8x11 piece of paper, his expression softened… just a little.
Then suddenly, he slapped his huge hand on my shoulder and boomed:
“BRETT! Why didn’t you tell me you were a white-collar criminal? Please, Come in! I want to show you something.”
Encouraged that I might NOT be mauled by the 300lb grizzly bear, I cautiously stepped into his eerily dark cave.
He flipped on the overhead light.
And as my eyes adjusted to the blinding fluorescent beams above, what I saw shocked me.
Tall stacks of college-level business textbooks covered his bunk, desk, and floor.
The terrifying bear cave looked like a miniature university library.
For the next hour, the always-silent Big Bearded Man talked nonstop about the classes he was taking and his dream of starting an HVAC company after his release.
His voice came alive.
His hands moved.
His eyes lit up.
The excitement pouring off him was like watching fireworks from the front row.
And, I LOVED IT.
But then… all of a sudden.
It vanished.
His shoulders began to sag, like something heavy had just been placed on them. The strong, radiant voice that had filled the room moments earlier softened to almost nothing, and the light in his eyes, the excitement, the fire, slowly faded until it was gone. It was like watching someone flip a switch from ON to OFF right in front of me.
The Shadow of Shame had entered the room.
Noticing my tall, talkative friend’s demeanor change, I gently asked:
“Is something wrong? A minute ago, you were fired up about sharing your post-prison dreams, but now it feels like something heavy just moved in.”
Something in my gut told me the slimy, slithering Shadow of Shame had found its way back into this gentle giant’s mind, feeding him lies that his future was already over and his dreams were pointless.
And sadly… my gut was right.
He stared at the floor for a long time.
Then whispered:
“Brett, I really believe I could start my own business when I get out…”
He paused for a minute, then said:
“But my crimes are serious. People always tell me I’m a failure. Honestly… I don’t feel worthy of anything in life.”
In that moment, the terrifying giant in front of me didn’t look dangerous anymore.
He looked crushed. Defeated.
Like a man who had been told so many times he was unworthy that he had finally started to believe it, a man who no longer thought he deserved to dream big dreams again or live out the purpose God had placed inside him.
Shame had convinced him that his future was already over, and it was working overtime to chain this hardworking, inspiring man to every mistake and decision of his past.
BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS.
Because of God’s divine timing and redeeming love, the Freshest Fish Ever to Enter Federal Prison was about to help this gentle giant shatter his shame forever!
Our merciful God had been using my own broken past to prepare me for this EXACT moment, and my God-given purpose inside these razor-wire fences was becoming crystal clear.
I was deeply honored to become “The Big Bearded Man’s” self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa.
Over the next six months, we developed a nightly ritual.
After our customary dinner in our compounds' chaotic chow hall, the gentle giant would come stomping down the hallway to my cell to share his new business ideas, books, and dreams with me.
Together, we would dream THE BIGGEST DREAMS for his future life.
The camaraderie and late-night conversations we shared over those six months are something I will carry with me forever. This broken, big-hearted man is extraordinary, someone who has battled through more adversity than most just to become the first person in his family to pursue a college education.
Yes, the crimes he committed are serious. Deeply serious.
But so is his desperate desire to make things right… to seek forgiveness… to reconcile with the people he hurt.
“The Big Bearded Man” wasn’t running from his past anymore. He was ready to face it, slay his shame, and allow God to turn the mess he had created into a healing miracle.
Every night during our long talks, I did my best to speak truth into this broken man’s life.
He needed to believe his shame wasn’t permanent.
He needed to know his past wasn’t disqualifying him — it was preparing him for a God-given purpose.
He needed someone to give him permission to dream big dreams again.
And honestly… I love being a self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa for my barbed wire brothers. It gives me a front-row seat to watch God transform self-inflicted messes into merciful masterpieces.
One of the biggest shame-slaying breakthroughs I ever witnessed happened around 8 p.m. in my cold, but oddly comfortable cell.
After a long phone call with his mother, “The Big Bearded Man” came stomping down the hallway toward my rusty metal door. You could hear him before you could see him, heavy boots hitting concrete, fast… urgent… emotional.
Without knocking, this giant grizzly bear of a man burst into my cell with HUGE tears swelling in his eyes. His chest was heaving. His face was red. He looked like someone barely holding himself together.
“Brett,” he said, voice shaking, “I just got off the phone with my mom. I told her all about my big business dreams… everything I want to do when I get out of prison.”
He paused, swallowing hard.
“You’ll never believe what she said at the end of the call.”
I had a pretty strong feeling I knew what that loving mother had said to her redeemed son… but I asked anyway.
“What did she say?”
Barely able to hold back a volcanic sob, this massive, heavily tattooed man whispered:
“She said… ‘I’m so proud of you, son. I believe in your big dreams.’”
And that was it.
After hearing those simple, sincere words, “The Big Bearded Man” absolutely broke.
UGLY CRYING.
Shoulders shaking.
Years of pain poured out of him onto the cold concrete floor.
This 300-pound giant, a man who could have terrified anyone on the compound, collapsed emotionally right there in my cell like a little boy who had just been told he was loved again.
In that moment, something inside him shifted.
The man with the intense past… the man who believed his future was over… the man who felt unworthy of anything good…
OFFICIALLY shattered his shame by allowing himself to DREAM BIG DREAMS AGAIN.
Remember this, my friend:
Jesus died for ALL of us.
With His final breath on the cross, He declared:
“IT IS FINISHED.”
Shame no longer gets the final word over your life.
So I need you to do me a favor right now.
Celebrate the fact that we just crushed DAY 3 of this shame-slaying journey together. Take a few of those heavy shame bricks out of your back-breaking backpack… and lay them down in the messy mud. You don’t have to carry them anymore.
As your self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa, it is my absolute privilege to speak truth into your life before the sun sets on our third day together:
YOU have permission to dream big dreams again.
YOUR past is paving a path toward your God-given purpose.
YOU, my friend, are a SHAME SLAYER.
Get some well-deserved rest tonight, my friend.
Tomorrow, on Day 4 of our shame-shattering quest, I’m going to introduce you to another one of my barbed wire brothers, Mr. Chill, and share how he learned to “Protect His Proud.”
Trust me… this one will stick with you.
Talk soon,
Brett
(A Fresh Fish who survived a grizzly bear)
Day 3 Reflection
As I think back on that night in my cold concrete cell — watching a massive, heavily tattooed man collapse into tears because his mother said she believed in him — one truth stands out above everything else:
Sometimes the moment shame breaks… isn’t loud.
It’s not dramatic.
It doesn’t come with fireworks or fanfare.
Sometimes it happens in a quiet sentence.
A simple affirmation.
A reminder that someone still sees who you really are beneath the wreckage.
For “The Big Bearded Man,” it wasn’t a business plan that changed everything.
It wasn’t a college class.
It wasn’t even prison itself.
It was hearing the words:
“I’m proud of you.”
“I believe in you.”
Shame thrives in isolation.
It convinces you that no one could possibly love you if they knew everything.
It whispers that your past erased your future.
But hope is stubborn.
The moment he allowed himself to believe he wasn’t disqualified… the man he was created to be started to surface again.
Not because his circumstances changed.
Not because his sentence disappeared.
Because his identity shifted.
Prison didn’t crush his dreams.
Shame did.
And the instant shame loosened its grip, possibility rushed back in like oxygen.
I’ve seen this pattern over and over again behind barbed wire:
Men don’t stop dreaming because they lose their ability.
They stop because they lose permission.
Permission to hope.
Permission to want more.
Permission to believe they could still become something good.
But God never revoked that permission.
Scripture reminds us:
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
— Psalm 37:4
That doesn’t mean He plants random wishes inside us.
It means many of those deep dreams were placed there by Him in the first place.
So as Day 3 comes to a close, I want you to sit quietly with this question:
What dream have you buried because you believed you no longer deserved it?
And a second, harder one:
If shame had no voice in your life… what would you dare to hope for again?
Available for Pre Order!!
Please help me publish Brett's second handwritten manuscript from federal prison by placing a pre-order today!
PRE-ORDER TODAY
Text me at (714) 410-2191 if you’d like to order Shatter Your Shame as a special First Edition Easter gift!
Brett and I are so excited (and honestly still a little in awe) to officially announce the pre-order for our new book, Shatter Your Shame.
This book was written inside a federal prison—on random pieces of scratch paper, with a dull pencil, behind razor-sharp barbed wire and an electrified fence. What started as handwritten prison letters has turned into a powerful testimony of redemption, responsibility, faith, and purpose.
Shatter Your Shame is for anyone who carries the weight of their past, the burden of regret, or the quiet pain of shame—and is ready to see how God redeems what the world calls broken.
Brett writes with raw honesty about the worst decisions of his life, the consequences that followed, and the miraculous way God met him in the pit of prison and transformed his shame into purpose. These are one-of-a-kind prison stories that will help you heal, rise, and walk forward unchained.
Pre-order Shatter Your Shame today and be part of a story God is still writing.
PRE-ORDER DETAILS
📖 Shatter Your Shame (Paperback)
📦 Books will begin shipping around Easter – April 5th
PRE-ORDER PRICING
• 1 book: $25
• 3 or more books: $20 each
(Perfect for small groups, book clubs, churches, or gifting to someone who needs hope.)
Every pre-order directly supports the countless late nights and early mornings I dedicate to editing, refining, and preparing Brett’s raw prison manuscript into a finished, life-changing book.
This journey hasn’t been easy. Prison is heavy. Shame is heavy. But God is proving—once again—that He specializes in turning massive messes into healing miracles.
Thank you for believing in redemption.
Thank you for supporting our family.
Thank you for helping us share this message with the world.
With so much love,
Noél
