Shatter Your Shame, Chapter 2- Sneak Peek
Shatter Your Shame, Chapter 2- Sneak Peek
-A Note From Noél-
Alright, I’m going to be completely honest with you… I am having one of the hardest weeks of this prison-wife journey so far. Brett has officially been in federal prison for over a year now, and the ache of not being with my favorite person in the world feels almost unbearable some days. Especially when you are dealing with some sick kiddos and you are just beyond exhausted.
When Brett was home, he was the person I processed life with. No matter what was going on, he had this incredible ability to make me feel safe, secure, and truly SEEN. He listened in a way that made me feel like I was the most important person on the planet. I miss that so much. I miss sitting on our couch, side by side, just talking about life like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Those once ordinary, almost forgettable moments have now become priceless memories I cling to with everything I have.
On our 15-minute prison phone calls, I try so hard to “talk life” with him, but every call is monitored and usually cut short by that dreaded one-minute warning beep. Our once-a-day calls fly by, and honestly… it just sucks. Hearing him hang up that pay phone is the hardest part of my day because suddenly I’m alone again, left to carry the weight of everything by myself. I won’t hear his calming voice or his encouragement again for another 24 hours.
The pain of Brett being nearly 2,000 miles away behind barbed wire is very real for me — and for Cambria, Willow, Lula, and Zion. There are many nights on this journey when I feel myself slipping closer and closer to depression, trying to hold it together for the kids while my heart feels shattered.
Brett does everything he can during those short calls to pour strength and truth into me. I’m so grateful that he has chosen to stay fully present as a husband and father even from inside prison. Because he spends nearly every minute focused on us, I rarely even get the chance to ask him how he’s really doing. The stories he sends me are often the only glimpse I get into his surreal life inside “The Feds.” I can only imagine the emotions he must be carrying as he writes alone in his cell. Some days I just want to reach through the bars and hold him.
But when I sit down at home and read his words, something incredible happens. I can feel his presence again. Somehow his stories connect our souls in a way even those short phone calls can’t. The words on the page sound like his voice in my head — steady, calm, reassuring… home.
His second handwritten manuscript, Shatter Your Shame, is making me laugh, cry, and fall even deeper in love with the man he is becoming through all of this. My prayer in sharing these pages publicly is that someone else who is drowning in shame might find hope, freedom, and healing.
Shame does not get the final word. Not because we are strong — but because Jesus already paid for it in full.
Below this very real “vent session” is Chapter 2 / Day 2 of Brett’s manuscript, and it tells the story of how his barbed-wire brother known as “The Networker” became a certified shame-slayer while serving a dangerous prison sentence.
I think you’re going to love this one-of-a-kind prison story as much as I did.
With so much love,
Noél
SHATTER YOUR SHAME
CHAPTER 2 SNEAK PEEK...
Day 2: Rescuing the Real YOU
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
Day 2 of our epic shame-shattering journey has begun, and I am beyond blessed to be your self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa.
Please hold on to the words I shared with you on our first day together:
“I will never abandon you, judge you, or condemn you for your past.”
You are MY PEOPLE, and I am so proud of you for committing to conquer your shame.
My friend, in just nine short days, the worst decisions of your life will be transformed into your greatest strength.
I’m so glad you got to meet my barbed-wire brother “The Wolf” yesterday. He is one extraordinary human being, and I’m honored to call him a friend. His shame-slaying story is inspiring, and all of us suffering under shame can draw strength from it daily.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that people who’ve learned to pave a path WITH their past tend to be incredibly genuine, authentic, and compassionate.
Isn’t that interesting?
There really is something refreshing about doing life with someone who is transparent about where they’ve been.
No fake smiles.
No circular, surface-level conversations.
No backstabbing.
No gossip.
Just a relationship that is real, raw, and authentic.
Shame slayers LIKE YOU are built different — and I love it.
Later today, you’ll get the unique opportunity to meet another one of my barbed-wire brothers. He’s the young man with the big, bright white smile who introduced me to The Wolf — and one of the most generous and genuine people I’ve ever met in my life.
On this concrete compound, we all call him “The Networker,” and his shame-slaying story is truly one-of-a-kind. But before I introduce you to my current cellie, we need to have a serious talk about The Shadow of Shame’s talent for terrorizing lives.
Uggghhh… I hate to admit it, but after several years of slaying shame, I’ve come to one undeniable conclusion:
This slithering shadow of shame is a world-class liar.
I’m talking top-tier.
Hall-of-fame level deception.
And I already know this insidious shadow has whispered some brutal lies about you.
Am I right… or am I right?
Let me guess a few of the blatant lies that may have been baked into your life:
— You will NEVER escape the muddy mess you created.
— You will NEVER have a fruitful family or future.
— You will NEVER reconcile your worst decisions.
— You will NEVER be loved because you are broken and bruised.
— You will NEVER be free from shame — it will haunt you forever.
— You will NEVER be a purpose-filled person because of your past.
Do any of these demonic lies sound familiar?
I told you that Shadow of Shame is a seasoned professional. But here’s the good news: Those bold-faced lies about your life, your worth, and your purpose END NOW.
Today — on Day 2 of our journey — we are going to RESCUE THE REAL YOU from this sly shadow. Even though shame is an exceptional liar, it has a “secret” — one that every shame slayer eventually discovers. Shame loses its grip the moment this secret is exposed. As your self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa, it is my absolute pleasure to share the secret that breaks the neck of this serpent.
Here it is:
“Your past ACTUALLY purifies you into the person you were always meant to be.”
Let me say it another way:
“Your past has given you a priceless perspective that most people don’t have.”
You are NOT most people.
You, my friend, are a certified SHAME SLAYER.
WE ARE BUILT DIFFERENT.
Let me give you a few real-life examples of how my past purified me into the person I was always meant to be.
My Painful Past:
• I made choices that destroyed the trust my hardworking investors placed in me.
• Instead of choosing honesty, transparency, and authenticity, I listened to the Shadow of Shame and hid from my worst decisions.
The Sinister Lies Spoken Over My Life:
• You should NEVER be trusted again.
• You will NEVER be a person of honor or dignity.
• You will NEVER escape your worst decisions — they will follow you forever.
How My Past Actually Purified Me:
• I lived through the self-inflicted torture of losing the trust of people I love and respect. Now, earning trust is one of my highest priorities, and nothing is worth jeopardizing it. Today, my family, friends, and fellow felons tell me I’m one of the most trustworthy people they know.
My past purified me into who I was meant to be.
• I know the devastation that comes from surrendering your dignity to shame. Now, no matter how big or small the decision, I protect my dignity at all costs. Being proud of my choices is a gift I cherish every day.
My past purified me into who I was meant to be.
• By embracing the worst decisions of my life, I now live in genuine freedom. I’m no longer chained to my past. Today, I walk this federal prison compound like a man given a second chance at life.
My past purified me into who I was meant to be.
My friend, today is the day we RESCUE THE REAL YOU from the layers of lies cast by The Shadow of Shame.
You now know the secret that begins to SHATTER shame and restore purpose.
Never forget:
“Your past ACTUALLY purifies you into the person you were always meant to be.”
Just ask my barbed-wire brother “The Networker.” He will tell you all about the secret that helped him shatter his shame forever.
You’re going to love this one-of-a-kind prison story called:
“OOPSIE.”
Enjoy!
OOPSIE
My first 30 days inside federal prison were DAUNTING, to say the least. I constantly felt confused. Potential chaos lurked behind every corner, and curious seasoned criminals taunted me up and down the concrete hallways.
In my normal life, I was smothered in laughter, hugs, and kisses as a blessed father of four beautiful children. Now, I was trapped behind multiple barbed-wire fences, surrounded by a sea of depressed men drowning in their own shame.
Nothing — and I mean NOTHING — can properly prepare a person for daily life in federal prison. If I was going to survive my lengthy sentence, I had to quickly learn the strange and awkward rules of life behind bars.
Let's call these the "unwritten rules."
For example: Did you know that in the “60-Man Jungle” there are designated toilets for “going #1” and completely different toilets for “going #2”?
If I accidentally used the wrong one… well, my fellow felon roommates would have physically made sure I never made that mistake again. Needless to say, I was absolutely terrified to use the bathroom during my first few weeks. Every time I had the urge to “take care of business,” my heart rate jumped to hummingbird levels. Not exactly ideal when you’re already in a state of emergency.
And unfortunately… the stress didn’t stop there.
Trying to learn the “unwritten rules” of our chaotic chow hall made my stomach do literal backflips at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
There are multiple doors into the chow hall, and you are expected to enter through the one assigned to your charges. It sounds simple… until you realize everyone else already knows exactly where they belong — and you don’t. Walk through the wrong door, and every head turns. Conversations stop. Trays pause mid-air. All eyes lock onto you — and your neighbors will “correct” you in a way that is anything but gentle.
Well… on my very first day, I didn’t just miss the memo, I walked straight into the mistake.
Tray in hand, grabbing my inaugural prison dinner, I confidently stepped through the wrong door… and instantly knew I had messed up. The room shifted. Voices shot across the chow hall. Someone barked at me. Someone else called me a NOT-SO-NICE name loud enough for everyone to hear.
In seconds, every eye in the room was on me.
And just like that, I didn’t feel like a grown man anymore.
I felt like a six-year-old kid who just wanted to run home to his mom because the big kids were picking on him.
Even though the chaotic chow hall nearly brought me to tears on multiple occasions, the rule that overwhelmed and confused me most was our compound’s “controlled 10-minute moves.”
As a federal prisoner, I was only allowed one 10-minute window each hour to move between buildings. If I were caught outside that window, a correctional officer could write me a disciplinary “shot” and send me straight to “the hole.” And just to keep things extra interesting, those approved "move times" constantly changed depending on the day, the hour, or whatever else was happening on the compound.
SO, on my second day of imprisonment, I decided to be a big boy and walk to another building all by myself without asking anyone for guidance.
THAT… WAS… A BAD CHOICE.
About halfway through my confident little solo stroll, something felt off.
I looked around.
No inmates.
No movement.
No noise.
Just me… standing alone in the middle of a wide concrete compound along with several very irritated correctional officers. Every single one of them was locked onto my frozen felon body like I had just set off an alarm.
From across the yard, a burly, bearded officer barked:
“HEY, INMATE — YOU’VE GOT FIVE SECONDS TO GET BACK TO YOUR UNIT OR IT’S OVER FOR YOU!”
My brain didn’t even have time to process what “over for you” meant.
My legs just took off.
Before I could blink, I was speed-walking back toward my unit, fairly certain I set a new Olympic record for prison speed-walking. My heart was pounding and my lungs felt like they were literally on fire. By the time I reached the door, I was out of breath, shaken, and painfully aware that my attempt to be independent had nearly earned me a first-class trip to the hole.
Like I said earlier…
Nothing — NOTHING — prepares you for the ridiculous written and unwritten rules of federal prison. I truly was a fresh fish flopping around, gasping for air.
THANK GOD a young man with a big, bright white smile saw something “different” in me and decided to risk his reputation to save me from my own self-sabotage.
“The Networker,” a man who knew absolutely nothing about me, literally saved my life behind those razor-sharp fences. I am forever grateful for his genuine friendship and guidance through that intimidating pit.
-He checked in on me constantly, letting me know when the next controlled move was happening.
-He showed me how to use the prison payphones so I could call Noél and the kids for the first time and tell them I had safely arrived.
-He loaned me his AM/FM radio so I would have something to distract me as the depression of separation settled in.
-He recommended me to his supervisors, helping me land one of the most prestigious jobs on the compound as a biomedical repair technician.
-He personally introduced me to the staff running the dog-training program, paving the way for my acceptance into the service-dog apprenticeship.
-He educated me daily on who could be trusted, and who would exploit my kindness.
This young man had a God-given gift for connecting with anyone and everyone: staff, gang members, murderers, drug dealers. They all respected him.
I had never seen anything like it.
And I felt honored to be part of his life.
On one of our long walks, I learned that at age 24, The Networker became a father, and in that very moment he held his newborn son his whole life changed forever.
Watching him talk about his boy warmed my heart. This man adored his child, and you could tell he would do absolutely ANYTHING for him. Unfortunately, the immense financial pressure of supporting a new family led him into a nightmare he never could have imagined.
To provide for his son, he worked multiple jobs — doing whatever it took to keep food on the table and a roof overhead. One of his best-paying roles was selling used cars at a local dealership. Honestly, it made perfect sense. The Networker was born to connect with people. Customers trusted him. Coworkers respected him. Within months, he was breaking sales records that seasoned veterans had held for years.
Wanting to expand his customer base even further, he came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea: film a viral promotional video.
So he drove to a specific location to shoot it.
Instead… federal agents surrounded him at gunpoint.
One moment he was planning a marketing video.
The next, he was staring down the barrels of multiple weapons.
He tried to explain he was just there to film and that it was all a misunderstanding, but no one listened. Within minutes, he was handcuffed, shoved into an unmarked vehicle, and pulled into a nightmare he couldn’t talk his way out of.
Years later, he would discover the truth: he had unknowingly driven into that parking lot on the exact night the FBI was staging a massive sting operation.
Wrong place.
Worst possible time.
That morning, he was a hardworking father trying to provide for his son.
By nightfall, he was sitting in a detention center facing the possibility of life in prison.
The Shadow of Shame swallowed him whole.
Determined to prove his innocence, he refused to take a plea deal and instead chose to fight the charges, which meant spending two grueling years locked in pretrial detention waiting for his day in court. Detention centers are a world of their own — harsh, uncertain, and emotionally draining. Prosecutors made it clear that if he didn’t plead guilty, they would weaponize his past against him and seek the maximum sentence if he lost.
Then, the day before trial, they made a final offer.
Seven years.
If he refused, he risked spending the next 30 years behind bars.
A true lose-lose scenario.
Option #1: Accept the plea, become a convicted felon, and carry the weight of that label forever, but see your son again in seven years.
Option #2: Refuse, gamble everything at trial, and possibly lose three decades of your life.
After a sleepless night staring at the ceiling of his cell, wrestling with a decision no father should ever have to make, he chose the option that gave him the best chance of holding his son again.
He signed the deal.
And in that moment, he officially became a convicted federal felon.
The fallout was immediate and brutal.
Family members stopped communicating.
Childhood friends disappeared.
The mother of his child cut off direct contact with his son.
It felt like his entire life collapsed overnight.
Shame pounced.
Lie after lie flooded his mind:
YOU will NEVER be worthy of a loving wife.
YOU will NEVER repair the damage you caused.
YOU will NEVER heal your family’s pain.
YOU will NEVER be the father your son can admire.
YOU will NEVER be seen as anything but a criminal.
YOU will NEVER have a God-given future.
By the time he entered my life, those lies had buried his hope.
The Shadow of Shame had chained him to his past.
But our God can turn ANY mess into a healing miracle. Because of the blood of Jesus, shame can ALWAYS be slain. The Networker didn’t know it yet… but he was about to rescue his true self.
On one of our walks around the track, he asked me a desperate question:
“Brett… can I still be the father my son needs and deserves after accepting that plea deal?”
Without hesitation, I answered:
“YES. Of course you can. Your past isn’t punishing you — it’s purifying you into the father and man you were ALWAYS meant to be.”
As my words echoed across the yard, that famous bright white smile slowly spread across his face.
You could practically see THE REAL Networker resurfacing.
On an ordinary walk with a fresh fish, my friend rediscovered hope — and the secret to slaying shame.
His past wasn’t a permanent prison.
God was using the pain to refine him into the loving father he was destined to be.
Over the following months, we spent most of our days together behind barbed wire. As his self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa, I continually pointed out how his past was preparing him, not disqualifying him for the future.
Here are some of the shame-slaying nuggets I shared with the incredible father and friend I call The Networker:
Being sent to federal prison didn’t destroy this high-energy, fun-loving man.
It purified him.
It forged PERFECT PATIENCE into someone who once lived life at full throttle. Unlike many fathers, The Networker will be able to slow down, listen, and walk beside his son through the hard seasons instead of rushing past them.
Prison also restored something he had lost years earlier — a HEART FOR JESUS.
Behind barbed wire, stripped of distractions, he rediscovered his faith. His young and impressionable son will now grow up with a father who openly confesses his love for Jesus Christ. God used federal prison — of all places — to change the trajectory of an entire family for generations. Thank you Jesus!
It purified him, making him a WISE FATHER.
Years inside gave him something most people never make time for: reflection. He has devoured books on fatherhood, leadership, and personal growth. Now his son will have a father grounded in knowledge, compassion, and understanding instead of impulse.
It purified him into a LOVING LEADER.
Living among broken men taught him how complicated people really are, and how desperately everyone needs grace. His trials expanded his empathy and strengthened his belief that every human being deserves a second chance. His son will grow up with a father who lifts him up when he falls and guides him toward purpose instead of shame.
And it purified him into a RESILIENT WARRIOR.
Years inside hardened his endurance without hardening his heart. The adversity that once threatened to break him instead built grit, courage, and quiet strength. When life inevitably throws challenges at his family, his son will see a father who stands firm instead of collapsing.
The disgusting Shadow of Shame wanted to chain The Networker to his past.
But God used that same past to transform him into the man he was always meant to be.
“God, thank You for sending Your one and only Son to die for our sins. Because of You, Lord Jesus, we all have THE SECRET to slaying our shame. Thank You for this precious gift.”
You see, my friend, The Shadow of Shame tried to bury my barbed-wire brother in federal prison.
But…
Our GREAT and REDEEMING God turned his mess into a healing miracle.
The Networker’s past paved a path toward his God-given purpose.
That shadow never stood a chance against THE REAL young man with the big bright white smile.
Alright, the sun is setting on Day 2 of our epic journey together.
As your self-proclaimed Shame Sherpa, I need you to do me a favor: take several of those heavy shame bricks out of your back-breaking backpack and lay them down in the messy mud in front of you.
Today, we celebrate the fact that you RESCUED THE REAL YOU from The Shadow of Shame.
Never forget “the secret”:
Your past ALWAYS purifies you into a person with a God-given purpose.
I hope you know how proud I am of you for shattering your shame today. I truly mean that.
Rest up, my friend.
Day 3 of our journey begins tomorrow, and you’ll meet another one of my barbed-wire brothers — a man I call “The Big Bearded Man,” who shattered his shame by learning how to DREAM BIG DREAMS AGAIN.
You’re going to love his story.
Talk soon,
Brett
(A fresh fish who now knows which prison toilet to use for going #2)
Day 2 Reflection
As I reflect on my friendship with The Networker, one truth stands out above everything else.
Shame doesn’t just try to remind you of what you did.
It tries to convince you of who you are now… and who you will never be again.
I watched a devoted father slowly believe that one moment, one decision, one day had permanently disqualified him from the life he wanted to live and the man he wanted to be.
Not because it was true.
Because it was loud.
Because it was constant.
Because no one had yet shown him that God was still writing his story.
What struck me most wasn’t how broken he was.
It was how much strength, love, and purpose were still alive underneath all that shame — just buried, not destroyed.
Prison didn’t erase the real him.
It exposed him.
The patience he learned.
The compassion he developed.
The faith he rediscovered.
The fierce love he carried for his son.
Those weren’t signs of a ruined man.
They were signs of a man being refined.
Shame wanted him to believe his life was over.
God was preparing him for what was next.
And once he began to see his past through that lens, hope didn’t just return — it took root.
Maybe the same thing is true for you.
Maybe the parts of your story you wish you could erase…
are the very places God has been shaping your deepest strength.
Maybe the fire didn’t destroy you.
Maybe it purified you.
Scripture reminds us:
“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”
— Malachi 3:3
A refiner doesn’t abandon the metal in the fire.
He watches carefully…
He stays close…
And he removes it at the exact moment it reflects his image.
My friend, today you began rescuing the real you — not the version shame tried to define, but the person God has been forming all along.
So before we move into Day 3, I want you to sit quietly with this question:
What if your past isn’t proof that you are broken…
but evidence that God is still refining you for something greater?
Available for Pre Order!!
Please help me publish Brett's second handwritten manuscript from federal prison by placing a pre-order today!
Your generous pre-order doesn’t just support a book — it gives me the ability to keep showing up late at night when the house is quiet, the kids are asleep, and my heart is heavy, so I can pour everything I have into editing, formatting, and finishing this labor of love.
If you feel led to get a first edition copy of Shatter Your Shame, please text me at (714) 410-2191. Your support truly helps me keep going on the hard days and brings Brett’s words of redemption and hope to life.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing with our family and helping this Proud Prison Wife carry her husband’s one-of-a-kind prison stories into the world. I could not do this without you.
