Merry Christmas

– Merry Christmas –

Merry Christmas from your good friend in federal prison 😉

Celebrating my first Christmas behind a barbed wire fence comes with a lot of mixed emotions and feelings.

On one hand, I’m experiencing intense pain and sorrow being thousands of miles away from Noél, Cambria, Willow, Lula, and Zion. I’m talking about the kind of sadness where your soul and your body physically hurt.

But…

On the other hand, I’m in absolute awe of God’s goodness and all the breakthrough transformation that has been birthed through my family’s brokenness.

Unfortunately, it took me almost 40 years of life on this earth — and a federal prison sentence — to finally realize that pain and breakthrough can exist in the same reality. A person’s pain does NOT need to stop for supernatural breakthrough to happen. Honestly, I think the opposite is true now.

Living in the pit of prison has taught me to ALWAYS choose Jesus during the darkest days. Something shifts in the atmosphere when we CHOOSE to worship HIM while we hurt. That choice — worshiping in the middle of pain — gives God space to go to work and begin birthing something beautiful from our season of suffering.

God truly is THE GREAT REDEEMER. I’ve personally witnessed HIS REDEEMING POWER in a place that was created to punish and destroy a person’s soul.

Getting to tangibly experience the power of Jesus in prison does something to a man. Especially a convicted criminal like me who carries so much shame. I NEED the grace that only Jesus can give.

If I had to summarize all the complicated emotions I’m feeling during my first Christmas in federal prison, I would choose one simple word:

GRATEFUL.

And I’m NOT choosing this word because “The Bartletts’” season of suffering has ended or because everything suddenly feels like rainbows and butterflies.

I chose the word GRATEFUL because Jesus has taken the mess I created and started turning it into a stunning miracle. THIS IS OUR GOD!!! THIS IS THE GRACE AND FORGIVENESS THAT ONLY JESUS OFFERS!!! I am undeserving of this kind of unconditional love. God, You are so good.

Our family is in pain — but that pain now has purpose.

Can a season of suffering survive when it’s been surrounded by divine purpose?
I THINK NOT!!!

Shame has lost its sting, and brokenness no longer binds my family. The Bartletts chose Jesus when it hurt, and now our hearts are being healed.

Smile through the suffering, my friends — God’s got you.

Let HIM get to work and turn your pain into purpose. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

Merry Christmas from your friend in federal prison!!!

Love all of you,

Brett(The most blessed prisoner in the B.O.P.)

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– A Note From Noél –

Oh man… I miss Brett.
I miss his light, his humor, his optimism, and his ability to see the absolute best in every situation — even the impossible ones. Letters like the one above are what keep me standing. They breathe strength into the parts of me that feel worn thin by this strange and surreal season of life.

This holiday season has brought a level of sorrow I never imagined I’d experience. Brett’s incarceration continues to take a toll on me and the kids every single day. There are moments when the ache feels physical — like a heaviness I can’t shake.

BUT…

Right alongside that pain, I’m witnessing God’s mercy, grace, and goodness in ways I didn’t even know were possible.

HIS GOODNESS IS REAL. IT IS TANGIBLE. IT IS CARRYING US.

I’m beyond thankful that our family’s shame and suffering have been mercifully transformed into something supernatural — a strength we never knew we had. Somehow, in the middle of all this hurt, God is allowing our story to give other families hope during their own seasons of suffering.

And while nothing will ever erase the sting of waking up on Christmas morning without Brett for the first time ever…
knowing that our pain now has purpose softens it just enough to breathe.

The Bartletts have chosen to worship Jesus right in the middle of our storm. And slowly, gently, God is healing our hurting hearts — covering us with His grace, His peace, and His unshakeable presence.

If you are walking through your own unimaginable season this Christmas, please hear me with every ounce of love in my heart:

God sees you.
God hears you.
God has not abandoned you — not for a single breath.

Choose Jesus when it hurts the most.
Let Him into every broken corner.
Let Him turn your pain into purpose and your mess into a miracle.
He is faithful. He is near. And He is not done with your story.

And so, as I sit here watching my beautiful children open their presents … I just want to say:

Merry Christmas from the bottom of our hearts!

Today we celebrate the birth of our Savior —
and even in the middle of our pain, Jesus is HERE.

He is the God who enters the sadness.
He is the God who sits with us in the quiet.
He is the God who turns graves into gardens, even when we can’t yet see the bloom.

My prayer is that this Christmas, you feel His nearness the way we do —
tender, steady, unmistakable.
And that His peace wraps around your heart the same way His grace continues to carry ours through this season of deep hurt and deeper hope.

Thank you so much for loving on our family in this season.
For showing my kids what a truly beautiful community looks like,
and for every single one of you who has blessed them — and us — this Christmas.

We are so beyond grateful for each and every one of you.
Truly… we would not be standing 10 months in without you.

Merry Christmas, sweet friends.

Love & Many Blessings,
Noél
(A prison wife who is hurting deeply… yet choosing hope anyway)