Taking Responsibility
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-Taking Responsibility-
Correctional Officer: “You’re NOT like the other guys here.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Correctional Officer: “In the 15 years I’ve worked here, you’re the only inmate I’ve ever met who takes full responsibility for their actions. Most of the men here just make excuses and blame others.”
Me: “Thank you so much for the kind words and for recognizing my effort to reconcile with society. The funny part is, I feel more free in prison than I ever did in the regular world. Taking full responsibility for my poor decisions and acknowledging my brokenness was ironically the key to setting me free. I have nothing to hide, and that allows me to operate in complete freedom.”
Correctional Officer: “Yeah, that actually makes total sense. I can see that level of freedom on you. Keep up the great work. Maybe the guys around here can learn a thing or two from you.”
Having a correctional officer recognize my efforts to reconcile with society meant the world to me. It’s conversations like the one above that give me the strength to endure a lengthy prison sentence.
Taking FULL responsibility for my extremely short-sighted decisions has set me free inside a highly secure federal prison facility. Even though I’m confined by an electrified barbed-wire fence, I’m no longer held captive by my past life. The pain and shame that once haunted me daily has slowly evaporated with my dedication to proclaim my brokenness.
Please don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say. I FULLY regret making high-risk business decisions that caused my past investors to lose money. The people who trusted me to steward their resources deserved way better than what I gave them. I could have—and should have—done better. This part of my past will follow me forever, and I completely embrace that reality.
In fact, I yearn for the day I’m finally released so I can begin my new career as a dog trainer. As a skilled trainer, I’ll be able to make a substantial impact on my court-ordered restitution. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to start a second career as a “prison puppy trainer.” God is so good.
Living in federal prison and choosing to become a prison puppy trainer has taught me that our brokenness can either become a catalyst that propels us toward our God-given destiny… or it can mutate into a hopeless dark pit we never crawl out of. God gives us the sacred opportunity to choose our response to sin and brokenness.
I’ve made the very intentional choice to proclaim and memorialize my brokenness in hopes that other prisoners will witness the freedom I’m operating in—and free themselves from the bondage of their past.
When I acknowledge my mistakes and take full responsibility for the outcome, God releases freedom into these prison cells. Another one of my fellow prisoners sees that freedom with his own eyes and begins to crave it. The idea of being mentally and spiritually free from shame is like water in a scorching desert to a federal prisoner.
Every time I witness another one of my confined brothers choose freedom over suffering, it reminds me how deeply our Father in heaven desires reconciliation with us. Prison is a unique place to witness the power of God move because we are hungry for forgiveness. We yearn for it with every fiber of our being. This is why God sent His only Son to die on the cross—so that my broken brothers and I could experience unconditional love and grace.
Next time you want to change someone’s life, show them grace and forgiveness. You will be shocked by the outcome.
I understand that proclaiming your own brokenness is not easy, but I promise you—it’s worth it. Many people in my past weaponized my brokenness and tried to destroy me and my family with shame and guilt.
Little did they know that the very brokenness they used to harm me would eventually become a tool for freedom, a launching pad to help other prisoners rebuild their lives.
I boldly proclaim my brokenness because it is part of the human condition. I know I require the blood and body of Jesus daily. I’ve seen firsthand the awesome power of the cross.
In my past life, I thought the pursuit of perfection was the ultimate goal. Boy, was I way off.
After being publicly humiliated and sent to federal prison, I discovered there is tremendous beauty in our brokenness. That unexpected beauty creates space for healing. Jesus is the ultimate healer and meets us exactly where we are.
I love sitting in the mud with my broken brothers. Our pain and shame are public—and that creates a unique opportunity for us to put ALL of our sin at the foot of the cross. We no longer have to pretend to be perfect, and that allows us to walk in complete freedom. God has a funny sense of humor, I guess. The federal prisoners I go to church with live a life of REAL freedom. WHAT THE HECK!!! Hahahahaha.
God is moving through this prison and transforming lives because these brave men are willing to face their brokenness and take FULL responsibility for their past. I’m fueled by their willingness to face their pain and shame.
Proclaiming your brokenness creates breakthrough, my friends.
If you’re carrying the weight of your past today, proclaim it and give it to Jesus.
Take it from a guy experiencing true freedom in prison—your brokenness does NOT have to define you.
Lay ALL of it at the cross and allow God to get to work.
Love all of you so much, and I’m truly thankful for the opportunity to memorialize my prison journey.
Sincerely,
Brett (A broken federal prisoner experiencing the purest form of freedom)
– A Note From Noél –
I love getting letters like this one from Brett.
When I read about him “owning his brokenness,” I see a new version of my husband walking back into our home someday. I imagine our children running into his arms, all of us surrounding him with love, and him FINALLY standing tall—free from the heavy weight he’s carried for so long. The pain and shame others tried to weaponize against him will be gone for good. What a breathtaking day that will be.
There is incredible beauty hidden inside our brokenness—because when we invite God into those shattered places, He transforms what was once painful into something redeemed, and full of purpose. Brett is living proof that our past has no authority over our future, our past does NOT need to define us.
When we CHOOSE to take responsibility for our mistakes, we create space for the Holy Spirit to enter the room and heal our hurting hearts. It allows His presence to move into the depths of our soul and restore what we thought was too broken to ever be made whole.
We ALL need the grace and forgiveness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I’m fully confident that Brett’s willingness to take responsibility, and his unrelenting desire to seek reconciliation, will become contagious inside those concrete walls.
Men who have lived in the dark pit of their past will begin to crave the same freedom Brett walks in daily.
They will look at him and ask, “Why are you so different from everyone else in here?”
And Brett’s response will be simple and beautiful:
“I’m broken just like you, brother. The pain and shame of your past does NOT need to define you or your family. Let me share my story with you so you can walk in this same freedom.”
I LOVE THAT.
Look, I will say it over and over again:
I absolutely hate that Brett is in a federal prison thousands of miles away from me, Cambria, Willow, Lula, and Zion. But I cannot deny the work God is doing through my husband.
Thank You, Lord, for loving ALL of us in the midst of our brokenness.
We need Your unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness every single day.
Thank You for the sacrifice You made on the cross, revealing the purest form of unconditional love the world has ever known.
With so much love,
Noél (A Proud Prison Wife)
